The Bag Lady is foiled again.

You may know her.  The Bag Lady.  She is dependent on many in order to work her craft.  She walks with the assistance of walking cane, having difficulty walking on knees that carry 350 pounds.  She is addicted to narcotic pain killers and visits a half-dozen doctors for those pills, selling some for $5.00 a pill, while feeding her addiction with the remainder.  Most often she does not require the $0.50 copay required by her Medicaid because she sings a sad story well and always has those she can take advantage of to pick up the $0.50.  She is dependent after all, taking money from those who had rather starve Christians while attending to her needs.  She smokes a pack of cigarettes a day.

The Bag Lady is the Saint of those who feed her addictions.  She is so kind and so sweet.  When you arrive to carry her shopping she has her big bag.  She claims she has no money but “wants to go window shopping.”  She prefers you let her out of the car at the door and then go park and wait.  She knowingly makes you the “get away driver” while you sit in your car thinking how swell it is that she can shop alone.

On the way home she insists you stop for ice cream.  Ice cream becomes a full meal.  She has likely insisted you bring along the man she uses for what you would not comprehend; you see this lady runs on sex.  $35 later for the meal she may actually be tired and not want to stop for more window shopping.  After all, carrying that big heavy bag is awful.


— cj



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