Church Woman the Family Provider

It should be known that Conservativejock thinks the world of Church Woman, even with her many imperfections.  Lol.  You see, Church woman, is an example of what God can bring to women such as Hoochie Mama who was introduced in an earlier post.  Church Woman is also of the generation of Hoochie Mama, being a sister of the two brothers who may or may not have fathered Hoochie Mama’s children.  (The children we know that is.)

As the generation have passed beginning with Church Woman’s parents many interesting folk and circumstances have come to pass.  The ancestry of this rather large group of Americans is difficult to trace.  Through one family name it appears that some fled the reach of law enforcement in early Georgia — pre-1830s — into western Georgia and eastern Alabama.  There they traded with, fought with, and in general committed crimes of mischief in the territory to the east of them.  After the Civil War (that war of Northern Aggression) Church Woman’s patriarchal side became tenant farmers who moved on an almost yearly basis due to wintertime “habits” that caused their presence to become an issue.  They were, it is claimed, very heavy drinkers and smokers as Church Woman’s only two brothers died as alcoholics.

Beginning in 1865 white Southerners survived in two ways:  they worked in the cotton mills being built in the south or they share-cropped and distilled liquor from corn mash.  Church Woman’s mother was orphaned at less than eleven years old and was taken in by an aunt and her husband who worked in a cotton mill whose structure is still standing.  Church Woman however, unlike her two brothers, graduated from high school and at age 21 was hired at Southern Bell through the first of its affirmative action programs.  She both developed that union based “entitlement” attitude and at the direction or I’d more accurately say “demand” of her mother that the extended family be provided for.  Upon employment with Bell South mom and dad never worked again and never went lacking a roof over their heads.  This is part of the reason Church Woman never married, which would have been a disaster, as she most likely would have married what I am not ashamed to say is a retarded paranoid schizophrenic.  Church Woman’s sister married a brother of this oft troublesome man.  She and that bird now have a son sitting in a Georgia penitentiary on child molestation charges.

As I have said before:  genetics is a bitch.

Church Woman has a heart of gold.  She however cannot thigh at her church.  She is so devoted to her family that either does not work, is in jail, or can’t work due to some psychiatric malady, that she has impoverished herself.  She lives in a ghetto she does not see as a ghetto.  She purchased a modular home from one of her brothers employers and placed it on a one acre section of a six acre tract he had purchased in the ghetto.  This brother was a “block” mason.  He was never able to develop the skill to become a brick mason and his employer allowed him to stucco coat the black so they would appear well placed.  Church Woman’s retirement pay a mortgage carrying principal that is three times the value of the home.  All of those funds flowed to the extended family feeding bail, provided food, and general “bad habit” funds,

Church Woman lives within a mile or so of most of the nine children of Hoochie Mama.  She acts as their taxi service.  She drives an early 2000s model car that often reeks of foul odor.  She has in some cases become the sole source of garbage removal.  She collects garbage for one nephew to be hauled off in her weekly garbage pickup.  Trash is collected and moved every couple of weeks and leaks into the trunk of the car.  At other times, the trunk of the car is used to haul scrap metal to a local purchaser.  This nephew lives with Bag Lady who through disability payments covers most of the rent.  Drugs for both take a good slug of food stamp money converted to cash as well as the disability payment.  Drugs come first, rent on the shack comes somewhere else down the line.

Perhaps some of you are familiar with the statement that, “you can’t help some people.”  You may even think that statement is an out-and-out lie.  If you think it is a lie you may be related to Hoochie Mama’s children.  You see, Church Woman gives priority to any action she may take that requires money to Hoochie Mama’s children.  Church Woman will deny herself food in order to feed Hoochie Mama’s kids.  To be honest, she’s like both state and federal government.  She does not mind depriving you of your earnings in order to feed Hoochie Mama’s children’s many pleasures.  AS an example, if you pay that mortgage off Church Woman will run immediately to the savings & loan to borrow more cash, using the home as security, whereupon Hoochie Mama’s children will have a new cash cow.

If you carry Church woman to lunch after church you will be expected to pick up the tab, though she will deny that.  If you don’t this simply leads to you not being invited.  Also, if you are a very giving person yet your income is one-half of Church Woman’s, you will be expected to buy dinner for birthday’s, mother’s day, holidays, and any time Church woman invites you to eat out.  You see, entitlement is catching.  And it is easy for entitled folks to claim, “well it’s a Human Right.”  That’s what today’s doped up Republicans bought by the way in not simply ending Obamacare.

Some would say “This is America in 2017.”  I do not necessarily disagree.  Have fun brothers and sisters.  Your day is coming.






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